:(

I don't know why am I here any more. I belong there, not here.

and I commit my life here. why? cos I never had the choice. and it hurts to know the people over there are waiting for me.

every time the question why comes in my mind.

but then, that's how my life went.

this blog is turning from a blog to a complaint board.

but whatever. blogging is a lot of electricity. I can't afford to blog when I'm happy cos when I'm happy I don't feel like blogging. when I'm sad, only then I feel like blogging. lol

I badly wanna visit him. God. please just send me a rescue team or a flying carpet or smth.

I just wanna get outta here.

tsk.

I'm hooked onto P Ramlee.

hypersensitivity;

I got people who ask me after a paper: can pass or not?
do you think I'd aimed to fail?

I also got people who ask what courses am I aiming for, and when I answer, they go:
whoa those courses sound difficult to get.

am I that notorious?

anyway I've been taught a way to answer the most typical question of 2010:
How was O's?

- they are over :)

cos we're humans.

when you make a mistake,
here's the least you can do:

1. think it through. curse yourself, whatever, as long as you realise it was really your fault. reflect on what you should, or could have done.
2. slow talk. say sorry. most importantly, MEAN IT. note: after this, it's really up to people to forgive you or not. if they do, be really thankful. if they don't, just walk away. if they were really empathetic but just so mad, give them some time. don't flare up. if they love you, they would want you back. just be patient.
3. grow up. learning from mistakes means DON'T DO IT AGAIN. trust and respect are things that are very hard to regain.

I'm not mocking anyone, seriously but this is a random thought for myself. cos I'm human.
till then, sayonara.

YO.

hehehe. call this blog dead or whatever, idc.

maybe I should start on tumblr. *looks around*

school's coming to an end and I'm szxcooooo freaking happy cos my last paper is on 12-11-10.

COW! I mean cool or whut!

today's an ordinary saturday and I haven't been thinking so much so I don't know what to blog about but hehe I cannot wait to watch lagenda budak setan. HEHE Lisa Surihani (L)

and today, yep umm 6 nov, was the first time I witnessed a guitar string tercabut and I was like wt(fillintheblank). cos I was singing to dynamite :( so that was a sign that I shouldn't sing dynamite. hah!

actually I'm quite emo loh today. (lol). like the langit. am I cursed to be like the langit or what.

I suddenly miss everything. everything that's apparently coming to an end. not exactly school, but all the friends here. even my best buddies, Nadh and Mirah. cos when O's started, we don't have recess. I only ate with Nadh. then no more malay lessons with them. though sometimes we spend time going home together, macam tk terlepas gitu rindu. :(

and I miss malay lessons a lot. heh, really. dengan Nicholas yang tk abis2 terbalikkan peribahasa, Ridhwan yang suke irritating, Agung yang suke menjawab, Amirah yang ketawe bleh dengar dari hujung class, Nadhirah yang suke curik2 stationery kononnye aku tk prasan .

hahhaha

anyway ok i gtg. bubyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The Lovely Bones

this is totally amazing I thought. thanks to sashabashir.blogspot.com. I don't know why it's not very publicized in Singapore, is it? but I cried many times watching it.

it's about a girl who got murdered when she was 14. once she was killed, she found herself lost. she struggled her way as she wasn't ready to let herself go. she wanted justice. it never really came but finally she learnt to accept it, for the sake of her family's happiness.

hi blog,

tngah nazak ke?

this blog is almost dead cos I keep updating my private blog instead.

heh

as expected, I screwed prelim 1.

to admit, (this is humiliating, but it's true)

I don't regret anything.

cos prelim 1 is a wake-up call,

YOU WAIT FOR PRELIM 2.

ALL YOU TEACHERS.

hahha.

but of course there will still be subjects I'm weak at lah. like combined humans.!

and I really admire Ms Faith because she's willing to read my paper and look out for points.

another subject?

bio makes me go biol.

class msg: 6.2

like super bad or what.

anyway. I'm gonna prepare my mother for meet the parents session. C:

life has been full of ups and downs.

but need to endure for sure, and give the best bcos..

it's once in a lifetime and if only I endure and give my best shot, can I feel satisfied waiting for the results.

so every time mataku terasa oh sungguh the berat in school,

thinking of post-exam stuff surely wakes me up.

yoohoo.

off to shower and then night study!

C:

wait. you know ah, I think my taubat time is coming 0.0

Thanks to Allah~

and it's not all because of Os,

perhaps because of a late somebody too.

okay bye! xoxo

tsk tsk.

this song is ahhh!
but guys should never dedicate this to girls because before they realise it they would have already broken a heart.

ehhh, hello.

been a longggg time since I last updated.

life was pretty normal, but honestly I'd say I've grown fragile.

every morning when I wake up,

I can't believe you're gone.

I can't believe your body is hiding below a pile of soil.

I used to look out the window and say

"you should be out there somewhere. and I will meet you someday."

but I can't believe you're nowhere out there any more.

but I'll meet you someday.

it really hurts.

but I look up to the sky,

knowing we've looked up to it before,

counting the stars and listened to crickets.

the sky, the sky knows.

thaqif fever.

isn't this simply lelaki melayu terakhir.

ayah used to sing this too :)

the last mail.

RE: Hai ayah...‏

From:	Nasyiba S (nash_oops@hotmail.com)
Sent:	28 May 2010 16: 55PM
To:	sahari A. wahid (sahari_wahid@yahoo.com)

Assalamualaikum ayah,

Syiba sihat. Syiba mohon maaf, sbb tak reply cepat2. apa2 pun syiba akan sentiasa doakan ayah selamat. tolong ampunkan syiba, dah banyak dosa syiba pada ayah. tapi percayalah, amarah tak sikit pun ubah kasih sayang syiba terhadap ayah. walau apa pun dah jadi, syiba tahu ayah akan selalu ada di sisi syiba. you are in me. you see what I see. I love you ayah. you are the man I love the most. I hope you remember that always. dan syiba tahu ayah pun sayang syiba. you once said, if you could, you would turn invisible and fly to me whenever you want to, just to see me. now you can, ayah. I don't know how long I'll be here. nanti suatu masa, di hari yang indah, ku hulur tanganku, lalu kau terima, kan?

don't worry about me. I'll live my life to the fullest.

I love you.

Missing you always,

Syiba.

There's nothing I wouldn't do

to have just one more chance

to look into your eyes

and see you looking back.

this is too much for me.

Did you just wink at me? I'm shy, you know.

hahha.

true story.

Pal,

I so love the idea of you having a blog.

and thanks for trusting me.

and jyeah, everything's gonna be alright (:

helloh!

been so long eh?

I'm telling you, I've become a psycho.

AKLTG camp has made me so crazy about ABM I think I wouldn't know where to go if I don't get the course. and that's semi awesome.

of course I realise I got a lot of improvement to be done.

anyway. I think the Baroque music technique really works for me.

okay enough right. for Nadh lah okay :D I'm sucha gooood friend hahah

apparrently when I'm in the mood to journal Idk what to journal about.
heh

OH!
hahha, today I wonder how come some people just like to try annoy me when it's them annoying themselves by making believe that I'm the one annoying them.

oh wells, I believe in retribution.
but seriously idk what's their big problem.
hai, hormones I guess.

okay lah suddenly I don't feel like blogging. I'm in the mood of writing a malay novel. :O okay whatever.

adiosarh!

I'm turning into a study psycho - of my own accord.

:D so wells, not having a life and working hard hard hard is not so bad after all. of course, for the time being lah. I realise I am indeed very hungry for success. and I can picture the day I get my result slip and I long for glory. and I believe in it, just like back then. I wanna feel it again.

let's stay in school ava to study in the afternoon :D

and God, I pray that this O lvl spirit will stay on.

AMIN

BANG BANG BANG.

oh my gay what's up with me.

I've been dreaming of operating a rifle.

ice lemon tea baby.

hand me ice lemon tea, and I'll give you a kiss (:

cheh, like real.

anyway I seriously think that Heaven&Earth ice lemon tea has replaced Seasons's. a vending machine near my house has stopped selling Seasons's. geh, I love Heaven&Earth's! :D

I'm having pictures in my mind.

the truth is I miss that one night last year.

the one and only night I dared to come home past midnight.

then the next day that everything seemed so natural when he held my hands as we walked. it was different though something was amiss.

and today everyone in the house is out except me.

so wasted. hehe shall I text you out or what?

eww.

I think I kena hack quite a long time ago,

and I just found out like now?

O.O

and life goes on.

after browsing through my old pics, I found this and noticed that my lips are like heart-shaped. cool or whut. hahaha

as I was in the bus today I was talking to Nadh.

"I think I'm sick of this route home."

- "just a few more months..."

"but yeah, I'm sure once school ends I'm gonna miss this so much"

and before we realise, we already are graduating. :(

and,

I love NadRah (L).

and psst, I like someone in school :D

Reunion lunch part 1.

so met up qis at 12.45pm at clementi. EVERYONE WAS LATE.

typical kudakepians. lol.

so there were me, qis, atee, syaffy, wan, yat, acap, qhay and taufiq.

went to banquet for delayed lunch, then sky park, then off to plaza sing for another lunch and then play pool whereas only acap was legal. haha anyway I don't understand why people under 16 cannot enter, isn't pool just a game? like arcade right.

anyways. I and atee played a game. quite fun eh.

at the end of the day I was like "eh wanna go again"

and I forgot I'm not 16 yet.

4 more months hmm.

anyway to me it wasn't as gerek as it should be, cos many people are mugging for their mye.

I don't have right :D

hahah.

must have another one june hols :D

hancur dan luluh keranamu;

mawi - kian

yang terguris tak nampak di mata,
yang terhiris terluka.

ada makna nii.

and yes,

I've loved you enough.

:(

you've got no idea how many times I checked my phone today.

How did I fall in love with you?

What can I do to make you mine?
Falling so hard, so fast this time.
What did I say? What did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

WOOH.

I woke up zuper early today to get my passport at lavender. my passport cover is strawberry shortcake and I zwear it's cute.

after that lala and haha (normala and seha) brought baba to KG cafe to eat. after that, jalan-jaan around arab street then I got myself a batik fan. they're so pretty, I feel like collecting batik fans.

these days I find my attitude towards food changing. I love food like crazy, but then the other day after eating a bowl of yong tau fu I felt like puking and got stitch after walking. then today I again felt like puking. am I growing bulimic or whutt.

and tmr I'm off to jb for a wedding. tonight Imma catwalk my house to get a perfect outfit for my lost hour glass. hahah D:

okay I'm updating for the sake of updating. hahah adiosarh (L)

dan sebenarnya ;

just recovered from fever. so hair was in a fugly mess like hahhaaa kay shutup.

clone me.

cos really, I'd love it.

lol

I can make her up, she can make me up. :B

today I had 4 things to attend to:

1. dance prac (and I was zuper late :S)

2. aesthetics leaders' meeting

3. english project

4. meet fil, yum, nelly @ bb mac

but fuh, I'm zuperwoman, dudes.

tmr I have dance again.

and cep project? :(

but omg I love dance pracs in the morning! although I'll forever be late. it's umph just the atmosphere I want ^.^ okay .

YAYYY I'm meeting atee soon! cannot wait :D

byeee~ muah! (ku gembira.)

Zapin (L)

this one is choreographed by our very own Abg Rizman and if you observe got a lot of similarities with ours. they use zapin budi, but our song still the bomb lah kay. hehehe. ^.^

plus I'm really considering joining Persadaku Seni under Abg Rizman's recommendation after Os? how cool.

bored :O

velly pretty~! (check out My Inspiration on my links ^.^)

biar betul eh bored?

today I had 2 hrs of physics lesson in the morning and we were all so dead that we got Mr Koh complaining we're so unresponsive. well, what do you expect on a saturday morning near to March hols kan? after that, I played handball with Ridhwan, Amirah, Qayyum and a few other 4/5s. fun! games day coming ^.^

hahah, Nadh's birthday is coming, and I'm celebrating it cum Amirah's this Monday :D Dear John, wait for me. haha and OH, someone wants a hair dryer for her birthday! (yes I'll remember that forever). XB

anyways. term 1 was (...)

but term 2 is much much much faster. even I myself am uncertain of what I just said, cos how much faster can faster be? :( but I keep telling myself, it's gonna pass very fast, and we'll do a lot of catching ups after that:

1. si ling pri 2001 reunion

2. ptps reunion

3. movie marathon with Amirah and Nadh (let's call them Nadrah)

4. cycling at ecp (as a hobby)

5. part-time work with zhisheng

hmmmm.

oh, and I'm listing stuffs for my March holidays as well, hoping everything will turn out fine:

1. study

2. homework

3. revise

...

99. study

100. homework

111. revise

.

..

...

....

.....

KIDDING~ (well it seems like that should be the way, anyway)

hmm actually here la hor.

1. singing by the beach with Syafiqah's guitar and Atee

2. Nadrah birthday movie-ing (mon)

3. dance practices + marina barrage performance ^.^ (thurs-sat)

4. lessons (tue & wed)

5. out with Amirah, Jlim and Zhi Sheng

6. meet phyl!

7. revise (as in, seriously)

8. finish my songs

and one suckish thing is my PC suite/USB cable is not working, I can't upload my vids and pics onto the com.

and today I was ditched. D: Seha said she wanted to bring me and her friend to get ukulele at penin. and I swear I was excited I almost texted someone :X on second thought, LOL baa big deal!

I overslept, I didn't realise all the 5 people went out while I was sleeping like a pig. that shows how tired I was. :( so I woke up figuring I was home alone for idk how long, and I hate it ttm cos I know I could have done something meaningful like continuing my songs/my letters to you cos I rarely get to be home alone. and then today I was home alone, ASLEEP D:

and now my mum and guests are back, they'll be spending another night, I guess. I need privacy for once.

alah, I don't like. D:

adios!

is this okay?

random pics arhh. haha I was thinking of tagging Ms Tian ^.^

and this, is bad fringe day D:



so life's a little bit of this and a little bit of that ;

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

yeah I changed everything hehe for I'm busy and somy blog should look simple.

(actually can't be bothered too heh)

so yeah, espeially to ade la orang tu who asked me to change skin ehh.

OMG! I so miss blogging D:

happy March, dudes *flying kiss*

psst, I'll be back to love you again~

a no-lifer's post.

hallo, blog.

I've been real busy lately, and when I literally touch the com, it's only to charge my mp3.

I will be REALLY back as soon as I'm done with this whole shit I have to endure for a few more months, meanwhile I'll be doing short short posts when I have the time, and upload pics if there's any cool event. ;)

love,

Baa the Brilliant.

obsession.

I'm watching this over and over again!

I especially like the last song of the medley :D

I wish I could dance like that! :O
btw, do you know that Singapore's turning into an arts hub?
soon, when I enter my dream course. ^.^ lol
HAPPY V-DAY CUM CNY (ROAR).
peace out.

study camp 270110-290110

at NUS

hilarious english workshop.



ahha, I remember this.

"1..2..3.. *smiles*"

"why I smile ahh?"

fugly ...~!

"1, 2, cha cha cha"

lime light was 250110 :O

powerpuff girls. LOL.

cuteness.

hours after amirah cut her hair she realised it wasn't as easy to do tht ^^

capek look.

MIAOOOO! SULAIMAN!

babes (L)

nice arh? :D

the show was amazing. my personal fav was the percussions. I was so contented that I texted my peepos who are in band to congratulate them. lol

had last-minute change in plan. Amirah had remedial and she was late for the show and Nadh & I went for McD's at Marina Sq and I had Mega Beef Prosperity Burger. seriously, I wanted the regular burger but I was reading the menu that said "mega beef prosperity burger $8.90" and the mega word just slipped out of my mouth. and I was pretty slow, so if I were to change, very paisehh.

and I couldn't eat the burger with proper dining etiquette D:

anyways after the show, did some SERIOUS merayap and had McD's (again, I've just realised), at ? beside swissotel. only then, I felt tired. plus I was so pfftful about the thought of having to go sch the next day.

but had fun anyway. we felt we couldn't wait for post-Olvl stuff - prom, cycling at ecp, movies, OMG. but of course work comes first. then can spend money. ^.^